


Rich Love and Cheap Tricks

by Benedickted



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020), Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
Genre: I need fics of them so I'll do it myself!, Jealousy, M/M, Robotniks a lot more r rated with his sadism, Slow Burn, They are both Drama queens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:01:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23872039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benedickted/pseuds/Benedickted
Summary: The impossible story of how this crack crossover ship would come to beSet pre Sonic and BoP. More in the DC universe than Sonic universe.
Relationships: Doctor Robotnik & Roman Sionis, Doctor Robotnik/Roman Sionis, Dr. Eggman | Dr. Robotnik/Agent Stone, Roman Sionis/Victor Zsasz
Comments: 12
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little introductory blurp to explain why Robotnik is there and give some background :)

Ivo was whatever The government needed him to be. Sometimes he sent his small bots to spy on foreign leaders, other times he used his Badniks to destroy whatever outpost they assigned him to. They hated him. He hated them. They both knew Ivo was only doing it for the money and ability to work on his machines with more freedom towards lethal weaponry. 

So when he was first told about this case he wasn't surprised, until he saw the name on the file.

Gotham.

Gotham was infamous, the place where the freaks ran free and chaos was praised. He was perplexed. Anytime the Government tried to intervene in the matters of Gotham it just made everything worse. So why try it again with him? Of course it was a petty reason, not the deaths, not the insane criminals running around like freshly decapitated chickens. It was infrastructure. One of the king pins was trying to play for more power by blowing up public property. Ivo didn't really listen through the meeting, nearly dozing off from the sheer boredom so he didn't catch too many details. 

He didn't care about the reasons. He'd dealt with humans blowing things up all the time, that was the main aspect of his assault jobs. What was one power hunger king pin to add on top of his mission success record? 

He was packed and ready to grab his latte from Agent Stone the moment sun rose the next day. He got in his truck and stone got in one of the envoys SUVs with other agents. 

Ivo did research on the drive to Gotham. He looked up the main king pins and who to look into leads for. He found it all fasinating. He loved this city where a man demanding to be called The Penguin was one of the Kings of Gotham. It was a place that humans didn't seem to be burdened with the mundane drivel he was used to dealing with. It was exciting, and he had a feeling he wouldn't stick out much in that kind of crowd. 

They arrived by dinner and Ivo already had a list of leads ready and tracks to follow. In Ivo's mind this was a simple mission, find whoever the government wants, elimate them, and get his check. 

If only he knew about a particular king pin that would ruin everything he had built. If only he avoided the egomaniac in the sea of narcissists in this city. If only he never fell in love with the attention obsessed man currently laying back in his condo above his club.

If only. 


	2. The Night Before the Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivo finds out who his target is, but little does he know that target found out about him.

Ivo wasn't afraid, again with his anti terrorism stings he's dealt with plenty of murder hungry men in his life time. That and he was always too proud in himself, even if he was caught he would out smart them. 

He followed his leads and found the bomb maker. It was a small man with chubby fingers that shook so much Ivo wondered how do could ever assemble a bomb. Ivo had Agent Stone and a badnik with him. The badnik hovered at his side, looming over the other man like a loyal bodyguard while Stone watched from behind them. At first he wouldn't talk, flicked him off and told Ivo "To go fuck himself." So, Ivo whistled and gestured to the man's hand. The badnik reved up and before the shock could reach the man's face a Laser fired and blew his middle finger clean off. Ivo relished for a moment in the man's scream and panic before pushing again. 

He grabbed the smaller weasel of a man by the collar and yanked him in, "Tell me who paid you or next thing that's coming off is the whole hand, capiche?" He smiled but it held nothing but a sadistic pleasure and a promise to keep his word.  
"okay okay! It's R-Roman okay? Roman Sionis!" Ivo let him go and the man huffed in relief.  
"Thank you Mr. Morrison, and oh, you should probably ice and bandage that, wouldn't want it getting infected," he turned on his heel, "Come on Agent Stone. We're done here." He waved and the frazzled man quickly snapped back to reality and rushed after him. 

Roman Beauvais Sionis.

It was a name that came up a lot in Ivos search. The criminal madmen that threw money at anyone willing to do anything for him. On the other side of the coin If you didn't do what he wanted you had your face peeled off by Victor Zsasz, Roman's lap dog of a Henchman. 

Roman was fighting for the land that had his father's company on it. Ivo guessed to have that power over him to prove he was good enough. He always found parental struggles mundane and tedious but he never had a real family so he never learned about them first hand. 

He had a lead on the next hit location, a warehouse by the docks. He told stone to wait, he didn't need some bubbling bafoon behind him while defusing a bomb. So stone begrudgingly stayed, trying to fight against the feeling this was a bad idea. 

Ivo walked up to the warehouse and took off his glasses, putting them in his coat pocket. He walked inside and immediately felt a sharp jab in his neck. He grabbed it and pulled out a dart. He stumbled before crashing down to his hands and knees. 

He heard a voice, "There we go...Tell the boss I got him and we're heading back now." Ivo felt someone grab his chin and make him look up at him. Victor Zsasz. Ivo opened his mouth but nothing came out as he collasped completely. "You don't look so good Doc. Maybe you should sleep it off." Ivo lost consciousness to the sound of Victor's manic cackle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I've been told my style can be weird so just letting you know I write in a mostly scene by scene way, working on a new scene each day so the chapters tend to be shorter! But it's coming I promise it's just the way my brain breaks up the story.


	3. The Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivo and Roman finally meet

Ivo blinked awake. His head rolling up before his mind came back and his eyes shot open. He felt the tape keeping him in the chair and gulped. He looked around, he was in a room of the Black Mask Club, he could tell by the decor. Roman's men stood at the wings around him and a big leather chair was in front on him. 

Ivo groaned, laying his head back against the chair. He went to activate his glove to get some Badniks so turn these men into new paint for the walls. He froze when he felt nothing but skin. They took his gloves, of course they did. He growled, his mind racing with different ways to break out and handle Roman's men. 

His train of thought was interrupted by footsteps behind him. One stride he recognized as Zsasz then the other was the crisp clack of high end Oxfords. They were mumbling to each other, Ivo tried to pick up what he could but only got his name. Ivo finally saw their shadows casting over him as they walked in. Zsasz moved to his place at the side and Roman strode up to be front and center. Ivo looked over the man. He knew Roman had a flair for dramatic fashion, but it was something else to see the suits with his own eyes. This one was dark blue with a satin layer meant to look like blue lace on top, shining in the hard light in the room. 

"Dr. Ivo Robotnik, a pleasure that you stopped by," Roman grinned as he looked down at the other man, "I'm guessing you know where you are, who I am."

Ivo rolled his eyes and gave a long sigh, "Your gloves don't really leave things up for debate." 

Roman looked down at his initials incredulously and huffed, "Then you know why you're here, right?"

"Care to remind me? I do have a few bounties on my head."

"Don't play coy with me, why were you snooping?" Roman scoffed at the gall of the other man. 

"I'm doing my job, The suits at the top are worried about their poor defense funds tax money so they sent me to see who was blowing things up because of their parental issues," Ivo gritted his teeth as he spoke. 

"Oh you don't mean little old me do you? I wouldn't hurt a fly that wouldn't hurt me," He leaned over and started twirling Ivo's mustache. 

Ivo looked down at his finger with a sneer "You know, I had a meeting with your bomb maker, Do you know what happened to him?" He opened his mouth and bit down on Romans fingers, causing the other man to yelp and back up. "Imagine that but with a laser," Ivo gave a cruel smile. 

Roman huffed, his chest heaving as he stopped zsasz from moving forward with one hand then delivered a hard slap with the other. He grabbed Ivo's chin to move his head back up so he could look him in the eye, "You really have a death wish don't you?" 

"If You were already planning on killing me it wouldn't be as much of a wish as it is a promise now would it?" Ivo shrugged, his face dropping to a scowl in an instant. 

Roman narrowed his eyes. He wanted to test if this fearlessness was just bark with no bite. "Oh but with an attitude like yours I will make it go slowly," He gestured as he sat down, grabbing his popcorn as Zsasz moved in. Victor traced the knife lightly down Ivo's cheek to test a clean line and get the suspense building. 

Ivo didn't even flinch, he just starred ahead into Roman's eyes, almost daring him to do it. 

"Stop." 

Zsasz pouted but backed off. Roman put his popcorn in his lap and pouted like a spoiled child, "Why arent you scared?" 

"Because I know you're not going to kill me," Ivo replied matter-of-factly. 

Roman broke out into a laugh, "Oh really? why are you so sure of that?"

"You've been watching me. Seeing my machines. Seeing as my gloves are on that table next to your chair I would hazard to guess you tried to use them and felt the 500 volts that greet you if you don't have my fingerprints."

Roman looked at the gloves and chewed on his lip, "Doesn't mean anything, wanting your toys and wanting you alive are very different."

"Not when my toys only listen to me. That and the kill switch of course." 

Roman tensed, "Kill switch?"

Ivo rolled his eyes as if it was already well known, "Yes! Do keep up. I die, and my babies automatically deploy to the location of my body." He learned forward as much as he could, a grin spreading across his face, "and kill everyone in sight."

Roman put his popcorn on the table so he could lean forward as well, "Is that a threat Doctor?" 

"It's the promise of programing, Mr. Sionis."

Roman leaned back and licked his teeth as he thought, "You are correct in some aspects, I want your machines."

"You want me to add you to the list?" 

"Whatever the feds are paying ya? I'll double it. Don't even need to work for me full-time I just want you to get a few jobs done."

Ivos attention came back then, "...I would also need a warehouse from you for lab space, and the freedom to let my machines do your job without your brawn without a brain over there down my neck." He jerked his head towards zsasz who growled but stayed still when Roman raised his hand. 

"Done. I'll even throw in a few men to help ya move, Kay?"

"Not yet, what is it exactly that you want my machines to do?"

"I don't want them to kill the men on top, I want that right. I want to see the life leave Penguin's beady little eyes." He stood again and grabbed Ivo's gloves, "But your machines can make them all weak. Make them easy to overthrow. Take out armories or front stores." He walked back to Ivo and leaned over as his hand gripped the chair, "You could help me rule Gotham, as I always should have. And your rewards would only grow the more power I get. I could protect you. I'm sure the feds wouldn't give a damn if you were dead or alive without your machines." Roman was good at smiling like he was a good man, putting on the act of a fun if vain man. 

Too bad Ivo saw right through it. Although, he also couldn't resist the temptation that money had. The amount of advancements he could make. "Cut me free, a good deal never is made without a hand shake." Ivo mused and watched as Roman pointed at Zsasz and he came over and cut the tap off his arms. Ivo rubbed his wrists before he stood and grabbed his gloves from Roman, slipping them on. He had a poker face that made Roman feel the start of nerves before suddenly Ivo jutted out his hand towards him. 

Roman glanced at it before grinning and taking it, giving it a firm shake. He put his other hand over both of theirs as a form of endearment, "I have a feeling this is going to be the start of a fantastic partnership, Doctor."


End file.
